The Powerful Love Letter

It's normal for couples to argue. But sometimes, these arguments escalate into a big fight. One small thing can lead to another. In the end, you don't even know what you're fighting about until it's too late and you're both hurt and upset.

So how do you communicate your hurt feelings to your partner? Write him a love letter. It is not easy to talk to him about your hurt feelings because even though how nicely you phrase your request, when he hears a demanding tone, what he hears is that he is not giving enough.

Here's a technique on how to write a love letter to communicate your difficult feelings:

I am writing this letter to share my feelings with you. If you feel that I'm blaming, please don't. I'm only expressing how I feel.

1. Anger
I dont like it.....
I'm angry that....
I feel frustrated....
I'm upset because....

2. Sadness
I am sad that...
I am hurt because...
I don't want...
I want...

3. Fear
I am afraid...
I feel hurt...
I wanted...
I feel scared...

4. Regret
I regret that...
I'm sorry for...
I feel embarrassed...
I feel ashamed...

5. Love
I love...
I appreciate...
I thank you for...
I understand...
I forgive...
I know...

The response I would like to hear from you: _________________________________.

A response letter is very important because it lets your partner know what you need.


Here's a sample of Lori's love letter:

Dear John,

I am writing this letter to share my feelings with you. If you feel that I'm blaming, please don't. I'm only expressing how I feel.

I angry that you showed up late. I hate it when you made me wait for an hour. I'm mad because it made me feel unimportant and taken for granted.

I am sad that we fought on our first wedding anniversary. I am sad that you had to deal with all the traffic to pick me up from work. I am afraid we're drifting apart. I am afraid that you're losing interest.

I regret for hanging up on you. I'm sorry for being impatient. I feel embarrassed getting so upset. I'm sorry if I was too demanding. I'm sorry for not appreciating your effort.

Thank you for taking me out to dinner to a wonderful restaurant. I understand why you had to be late. I forgive you for losing your temper. Thank you for the diamond necklace that you gave me for our anniversary. I love you always.

With love,

Lori

P.S: The response I would like to hear from you: "Lori, I understand how you feel. I'm sorry for making you wait. You don't deserve that. Tonight I will spend time with you and hold you because i love you. I'm happy that you are my wife."